A Tribute to Six Syllables

 

Scoo Bee Doo Bee, Scoo Bee Doo Doo, CIR-CUM-NAV-I-GA-TION

Lah Dee Dah Dee, Lah Dee Dah Dah, PREST-I-DIG-I-TA-TION

Doo Wah Doo Wah, Doo Wah Ditty, AN-THRO-PO-MOR-PHI-SM

Fa La La La, Tra La La La, TRAN-CEN-DEN-TAL-I-SM

Tweedle Dee Dee, Tweedle Dum Dum, ON-O-MAT-O-POEI-A

A-B-C, D-E-F, GEE-IT’S-GOOD-TO-SEE-YA!

Before you bash my brain for abnormalities detected

I’m merely praising words that are poetically neglected

The Smell of Fear

The sun burst forth on that bright autumn day

As I’d planned several hours to while away

With a book and some beer to the backyard I went

Since buzzed reading leads to a nap; time well spent

 

Frantically, birds gorged and nearly collided

For suet and cheap low-grade seeds I’d provided

Oak leaves were wafting through crispy, fresh air

As my buns settled into a comfy lawn chair

 

The voice I awoke to was foreign to me

A bit reminiscent of Godfather Three

“Hey Buddy! Wake up! I’m talkin’ to yooz!

I’ll now make an offer that yooz can’t refuse!”

 

His fur was jet black with a wide streak of white

A bushy tail twitched like it wanted to fight

His jaws buzzed at dried corn and seeds with persistence

While a voice in my head said to keep a safe distance

 

“I’m not a bad polecat, just hungry and miffed

The lid on your trashcan’s too heavy to lift

With all of these sunflower seeds on the ground

Hands down, your joint has the best eats in town!”

 

He noshed for a while, and I stayed alert

“Don’t make a move and no one gets hurt!”

He turned ‘round to leave and his tail gave a fidget

Then I spied his right paw and outstretched middle digit

 

I trembled in awe over what had occured

A skunk from the Bronx had just flipped me the bird!

As I gathered my wits on that day in September

The air sure smelled sweeter than I could remember

Approaching Venus

 

Thine eyes are limpid pools of warmth

That swiftly draw me in

I marvel at the softness of

Your alabaster skin

Your lips are scarlet pillows

That bewitch your very speech

And your silken hair resembles

Zephyrs wafting on the beach

With Venus departed, your beauty must reign

But before I can bequeath

There’s a big old stringy purple thingy

Stuck between your teeth