A Tribute to Six Syllables
Scoo Bee Doo Bee, Scoo Bee Doo Doo, CIR-CUM-NAV-I-GA-TION
Lah Dee Dah Dee, Lah Dee Dah Dah, PREST-I-DIG-I-TA-TION
Doo Wah Doo Wah, Doo Wah Ditty, AN-THRO-PO-MOR-PHI-SM
Fa La La La, Tra La La La, TRAN-CEN-DEN-TAL-I-SM
Tweedle Dee Dee, Tweedle Dum Dum, ON-O-MAT-O-POEI-A
A-B-C, D-E-F, GEE-IT’S-GOOD-TO-SEE-YA!
Before you bash my brain for abnormalities detected
I’m merely praising words that are poetically neglected
The Smell of Fear
The sun burst forth on that bright autumn day
As I’d planned several hours to while away
With a book and some beer to the backyard I went
Since buzzed reading leads to a nap; time well spent
Frantically, birds gorged and nearly collided
For suet and cheap low-grade seeds I’d provided
Oak leaves were wafting through crispy, fresh air
As my buns settled into a comfy lawn chair
The voice I awoke to was foreign to me
A bit reminiscent of Godfather Three
“Hey Buddy! Wake up! I’m talkin’ to yooz!
I’ll now make an offer that yooz can’t refuse!”
His fur was jet black with a wide streak of white
A bushy tail twitched like it wanted to fight
His jaws buzzed at dried corn and seeds with persistence
While a voice in my head said to keep a safe distance
“I’m not a bad polecat, just hungry and miffed
The lid on your trashcan’s too heavy to lift
With all of these sunflower seeds on the ground
Hands down, your joint has the best eats in town!”
He noshed for a while, and I stayed alert
“Don’t make a move and no one gets hurt!”
He turned ‘round to leave and his tail gave a fidget
Then I spied his right paw and outstretched middle digit
I trembled in awe over what had occured
A skunk from the Bronx had just flipped me the bird!
As I gathered my wits on that day in September
The air sure smelled sweeter than I could remember
Approaching Venus
Thine eyes are limpid pools of warmth
That swiftly draw me in
I marvel at the softness of
Your alabaster skin
Your lips are scarlet pillows
That bewitch your very speech
And your silken hair resembles
Zephyrs wafting on the beach
With Venus departed, your beauty must reign
But before I can bequeath
There’s a big old stringy purple thingy
Stuck between your teeth